The chard stems can be removed and placed back in the refrigerator to be used for further hot dog stir-fries. The chard leaves should be piled and rolled into a tight cylinder. To create long chard ribbons, slice the cylinder into 14"-thick segments. It's referred to as a chiffonade!
Chard should be placed in a sizable basin with oil, vinegar, lemon juice, maple syrup, salt, and pepper. Toss to coat.
Toss after adding everything else.
To get the chard leaves softened, let it sit for 15 to 30 minutes, or however long it takes you to take a freaking shower. Be the healthiest person you know by eating it.